Ladies Share The Worst Pickup Lines Guys Have Attempted On Them And They Are Hysterical
When all else fails and your game is fully off, attempt a pickup line.
Usually, you’ll get an eye roll and a cold shoulder. But periodically you might score with a lady who either has a superb sense of humor or feels so bad for you, she is willing to sleep with you as a form of community service. But hey, that’s still consensual hook-up in my book. And consensual hookup is always a win.
Some random ladies collective the worst pick up lines guys have attempted on them in the past, and grab a pen and a notebook, boys, because you need to keep some of these in your arsenal.
(Tall) fellow looked me (tall woman) up and down then drawled “Couple-a tall timbers like you and me could truly embark a forest fire.” He was henceforth known as Tall Timbers.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple. He said it out of the blue and I burst out laughing.
Bad wordplay can lead to excellent lovemaking.
I told a dude I liked his T-shirt. He said ‘it will look better on you when you wake up wearing it tomorrow.’
Pay attention, boys. This is the gold standard.
*Proceeds to take off T-shirt* “You want it?”
Works every time.
‘Could you hold this for me? *holds arm*
This one seems like it could lightly backfire. You can very likely get charged with brunt if you hold someone’s forearm without their permission these days.
I don’t know if this counts, but a dude’s Tinder bio had “times fresh Roman in the streets, wingding in the sheets” and me, being a graphic designer, thought it was fucking hilarious and I swiped right.
He wasn’t kidding, either.
Ah, font humor. Is there anything funnier?
My hubby and I were friends for about six months before we commenced dating. He used to regularly ask me “Have you heard of snu?” and I’d say “No”. Every time (most likely for the very first 10x), he’d just jiggle his head and switch the subject. One time he asked again and I eventually answered “correctly”. I yelled “what’s snu!” He says “I indeed like you, but by the time you ultimately got my joke it isn’t fresh.”
If you’re stupid like I am, the joke is supposed to go like this: “Hey, have you heard of snu?” “No, what’s snu?” “Nothing much. What’s fresh with you?”
Not a pickup line, but one night I was hooking up with this damsel I told this joke:
A man walks into a library, goes straight up to the librarian and says “Can I have a hamburger?”
The librarian looks at the man with confusion, and replies “Excuse me tormentor, but this is a library.”
“Oh I’m sorry,” the man says, looking embarrassed. He leans in and purrs in a low voice: “Can I have a hamburger?”
We’re married now so I guess it worked out.
I imagine he told this joke in inbetween thrusts.
Not a dame and not truly a pick up line, but I’ll always be amazed that this worked.
I was talking to a very attractive woman at a bar a year or two back and I asked her what the most random fact she knew was. she couldn’t come up with anything so she asked me instead. I told her that the man who invented the Segway died after his own Segway drove him off a cliff. She said “What? Truly?” to which I responded “yeah, true story. And speaking of bad segues, wanna go back to my place?” My pickup abilities peaked that night.
Pocketing this one for later.
One time as I rounded a corner I ran smack into some dude….. As in bounce-off-each-other. I was all confused and embarrassed, and as I backed up I stammered,”I’m sorry!”
He stepped back also, and after looking me up and down he said, grinning, “you’re not sorry…you’re FINE!”
It undoubtedly made me laugh.
Good excuse to accidentally run into women.
I’m a dude but the one and only pickup line I’ve used has worked.
Went straight from a restaurant for dinner to a bar. At dinner, they had a bunch of Hershey smooches at the buffet line. So I had a duo.
Was talking to a woman in the bar and recall some dumb internet post about it so I determined to go for it.
I asked her straight up: “Do you want a smooch?” and she said “do you?”. I told her I already had one or two I’m ok for now. She looked disappointed or creeped out or some face idk. So I pull one out of my pocket and give it to her. She embarked laughing a smiling like an idiot. Got a real smooch after that.
The fellow at the bar with the most Hersheys Smooches in his pocket always gets the most smooches on his dick.
A friend of a friend was out and sees the typical dame duo, smoking hot and below average. This dude, taking my friends advice, goes for the below average dame. Anyway, things are truly going well and she asks ‘why didn’t you go for my pretty friend?’ His response: ‘well it’s all pink on the inwards’. Dude got a smack for that.
It’s the inwards that counts.
Observed my friend successfully use: “hey baby, are you an avocado? Because you’re the right kind of fat and most likely repugnant on the inwards”
This man attempted telling me he had a magic witness, a observe that could tell me what color undies I was wearing. Of course I knew he was feeding me a line but I played along because I thought he was adorable. I asked him what his magical see was telling. He proceeded to tap the face of the witness and say his observe must be quick because it is telling that I don’t have any undies on.
*Points at pubes* You gonna eat that?
That dog is fucking adorable, so obviously.
Then I got to witness him successfully use the exact same line on another woman three days later.
I’m assuming he’s found that dog to be a fine investment.
Dogs are fine fucking investments.
I actually asked out my current gf using a shitty pickup line.
“Hey, do you have any raisins?”
That’s truly awful.
asked a man i had been observing what he was up to, he said “laying in my bed, you should attempt it some time.”
we live together now.
Money in the bank.
Was over at a friend’s house watching Harry Potter and somehow we got to a point in the conversation where I said “I truly, truly loved Popsicles as a kid.”
Which leads to the sleek pick up line of “We can pretend my sausage is a ice cream”, and then he just pulled down his pants right in the middle of his parents living room…didn’t know what to do so I just went with it.
Ended up dating for awhile
Can you top any of these? Share in the comments. To read more of this fantastic thread, click HERE. .
Total Frat Budge, Damsels Share The Worst Pickup Lines Guys Have Attempted On Them And They Are Hysterical
Chicks Share The Worst Pickup Lines Guys Have Attempted On Them And They Are Hysterical
When all else fails and your game is totally off, attempt a pickup line.
Usually, you’ll get an eye roll and a cold shoulder. But at times you might score with a woman who either has a fine sense of humor or feels so bad for you, she is willing to sleep with you as a form of community service. But hey, that’s still consensual lovemaking in my book. And consensual hookup is always a win.
Some random damsels collective the worst pick up lines guys have attempted on them in the past, and grab a pen and a notebook, boys, because you need to keep some of these in your arsenal.
(Tall) fellow looked me (tall chick) up and down then drawled “Couple-a tall timbers like you and me could truly commence a forest fire.” He was henceforth known as Tall Timbers.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple. He said it out of the blue and I burst out laughing.
Bad wordplay can lead to excellent lovemaking.
I told a fellow I liked his T-shirt. He said ‘it will look better on you when you wake up wearing it tomorrow.’
Pay attention, boys. This is the gold standard.
*Proceeds to take off T-shirt* “You want it?”
Works every time.
‘Could you hold this for me? *holds forearm*
This one seems like it could lightly backfire. You can very likely get charged with attack if you hold someone’s forearm without their permission these days.
I don’t know if this counts, but a fellow’s Tinder bio had “times fresh Roman in the streets, wingding in the sheets” and me, being a graphic designer, thought it was fucking hilarious and I swiped right.
He wasn’t kidding, either.
Ah, font humor. Is there anything funnier?
My hubby and I were friends for about six months before we began dating. He used to regularly ask me “Have you heard of snu?” and I’d say “No”. Every time (very likely for the very first 10x), he’d just jiggle his head and switch the subject. One time he asked again and I eventually answered “correctly”. I yelled “what’s snu!” He says “I truly like you, but by the time you ultimately got my joke it isn’t fresh.”
If you’re stupid like I am, the joke is supposed to go like this: “Hey, have you heard of snu?” “No, what’s snu?” “Nothing much. What’s fresh with you?”
Not a pickup line, but one night I was hooking up with this dame I told this joke:
A man walks into a library, goes straight up to the librarian and says “Can I have a hamburger?”
The librarian looks at the man with confusion, and replies “Excuse me master, but this is a library.”
“Oh I’m sorry,” the man says, looking embarrassed. He leans in and purrs in a low voice: “Can I have a hamburger?”
We’re married now so I guess it worked out.
I imagine he told this joke in inbetween thrusts.
Not a lady and not indeed a pick up line, but I’ll always be amazed that this worked.
I was talking to a very attractive lady at a bar a year or two back and I asked her what the most random fact she knew was. she couldn’t come up with anything so she asked me instead. I told her that the stud who invented the Segway died after his own Segway drove him off a cliff. She said “What? Truly?” to which I responded “yeah, true story. And speaking of bad segues, wanna go back to my place?” My pickup abilities peaked that night.
Pocketing this one for later.
One time as I rounded a corner I ran smack into some dude….. As in bounce-off-each-other. I was all confused and embarrassed, and as I backed up I stammered,”I’m sorry!”
He stepped back also, and after looking me up and down he said, grinning, “you’re not sorry…you’re FINE!”
It undoubtedly made me laugh.
Good excuse to accidentally run into women.
I’m a dude but the one and only pickup line I’ve used has worked.
Went straight from a restaurant for dinner to a bar. At dinner, they had a bunch of Hershey smooches at the buffet line. So I had a duo.
Was talking to a lady in the bar and reminisce some dumb internet post about it so I determined to go for it.
I asked her straight up: “Do you want a smooch?” and she said “do you?”. I told her I already had one or two I’m ok for now. She looked disappointed or creeped out or some face idk. So I pull one out of my pocket and give it to her. She commenced laughing a smiling like an idiot. Got a real smooch after that.
The stud at the bar with the most Hersheys Smooches in his pocket always gets the most smooches on his dick.
A friend of a friend was out and sees the typical doll duo, smoking hot and below average. This fellow, taking my friends advice, goes for the below average lady. Anyway, things are indeed going well and she asks ‘why didn’t you go for my pretty friend?’ His response: ‘well it’s all pink on the inwards’. Dude got a spank for that.
It’s the inwards that counts.
Observed my friend successfully use: “hey baby, are you an avocado? Because you’re the right kind of fat and very likely abhorrent on the inwards”
This stud attempted telling me he had a magic witness, a witness that could tell me what color undies I was wearing. Of course I knew he was feeding me a line but I played along because I thought he was nice. I asked him what his magical see was telling. He proceeded to tap the face of the witness and say his witness must be swift because it is telling that I don’t have any undies on.
*Points at genitals* You gonna eat that?
That dog is fucking adorable, so obviously.
Then I got to witness him successfully use the exact same line on another dame three days later.
I’m assuming he’s found that dog to be a good investment.
Dogs are good fucking investments.
I actually asked out my current gf using a shitty pickup line.
“Hey, do you have any raisins?”
That’s truly awful.
asked a man i had been watching what he was up to, he said “laying in my bed, you should attempt it some time.”
we live together now.
Money in the bank.
Was over at a friend’s house watching Harry Potter and somehow we got to a point in the conversation where I said “I indeed, truly loved Popsicles as a kid.”
Which leads to the slick pick up line of “We can pretend my boner is a ice cream”, and then he just pulled down his pants right in the middle of his parents living room…didn’t know what to do so I just went with it.
Ended up dating for awhile
Can you top any of these? Share in the comments. To read more of this fantastic thread, click HERE. .
Total Frat Budge, Damsels Share The Worst Pickup Lines Guys Have Attempted On Them And They Are Hysterical
Damsels Share The Worst Pickup Lines Guys Have Attempted On Them And They Are Hysterical
When all else fails and your game is fully off, attempt a pickup line.
Usually, you’ll get an eye roll and a cold shoulder. But at times you might score with a damsel who either has a good sense of humor or feels so bad for you, she is willing to sleep with you as a form of community service. But hey, that’s still consensual hookup in my book. And consensual hookup is always a win.
Some random women collective the worst pick up lines guys have attempted on them in the past, and grab a pen and a notebook, boys, because you need to keep some of these in your arsenal.
(Tall) stud looked me (tall chick) up and down then drawled “Couple-a tall timbers like you and me could truly begin a forest fire.” He was henceforth known as Tall Timbers.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple. He said it out of the blue and I burst out laughing.
Bad wordplay can lead to fine hook-up.
I told a stud I liked his T-shirt. He said ‘it will look better on you when you wake up wearing it tomorrow.’
Pay attention, boys. This is the gold standard.
*Proceeds to take off T-shirt* “You want it?”
Works every time.
‘Could you hold this for me? *holds arm*
This one seems like it could lightly backfire. You can most likely get charged with onslaught if you hold someone’s palm without their permission these days.
I don’t know if this counts, but a boy’s Tinder bio had “times fresh Roman in the streets, wingding in the sheets” and me, being a graphic designer, thought it was fucking hilarious and I swiped right.
He wasn’t kidding, either.
Ah, font humor. Is there anything funnier?
My spouse and I were friends for about six months before we commenced dating. He used to regularly ask me “Have you heard of snu?” and I’d say “No”. Every time (most likely for the very first 10x), he’d just jiggle his head and switch the subject. One time he asked again and I eventually answered “correctly”. I yelled “what’s snu!” He says “I indeed like you, but by the time you eventually got my joke it isn’t fresh.”
If you’re stupid like I am, the joke is supposed to go like this: “Hey, have you heard of snu?” “No, what’s snu?” “Nothing much. What’s fresh with you?”
Not a pickup line, but one night I was hooking up with this dame I told this joke:
A man walks into a library, goes straight up to the librarian and says “Can I have a hamburger?”
The librarian looks at the man with confusion, and replies “Excuse me master, but this is a library.”
“Oh I’m sorry,” the man says, looking embarrassed. He leans in and coos in a low voice: “Can I have a hamburger?”
We’re married now so I guess it worked out.
I imagine he told this joke in inbetween thrusts.
Not a damsel and not indeed a pick up line, but I’ll always be amazed that this worked.
I was talking to a very attractive female at a bar a year or two back and I asked her what the most random fact she knew was. she couldn’t come up with anything so she asked me instead. I told her that the stud who invented the Segway died after his own Segway drove him off a cliff. She said “What? Indeed?” to which I responded “yeah, true story. And speaking of bad segues, wanna go back to my place?” My pickup abilities peaked that night.
Pocketing this one for later.
One time as I rounded a corner I ran smack into some dude….. As in bounce-off-each-other. I was all confused and embarrassed, and as I backed up I stammered,”I’m sorry!”
He stepped back also, and after looking me up and down he said, grinning, “you’re not sorry…you’re FINE!”
It certainly made me laugh.
Good excuse to accidentally run into women.
I’m a dude but the one and only pickup line I’ve used has worked.
Went straight from a restaurant for dinner to a bar. At dinner, they had a bunch of Hershey smooches at the buffet line. So I had a duo.
Was talking to a damsel in the bar and reminisce some dumb internet post about it so I determined to go for it.
I asked her straight up: “Do you want a smooch?” and she said “do you?”. I told her I already had one or two I’m ok for now. She looked disappointed or creeped out or some face idk. So I pull one out of my pocket and give it to her. She commenced laughing a smiling like an idiot. Got a real smooch after that.
The fellow at the bar with the most Hersheys Smooches in his pocket always gets the most smooches on his dick.
A friend of a friend was out and sees the typical doll duo, smoking hot and below average. This boy, taking my friends advice, goes for the below average damsel. Anyway, things are indeed going well and she asks ‘why didn’t you go for my pretty friend?’ His response: ‘well it’s all pink on the inwards’. Dude got a spank for that.
It’s the inwards that counts.
Observed my friend successfully use: “hey baby, are you an avocado? Because you’re the right kind of fat and most likely hideous on the inwards”
This man attempted telling me he had a magic observe, a observe that could tell me what color undies I was wearing. Of course I knew he was feeding me a line but I played along because I thought he was lovely. I asked him what his magical witness was telling. He proceeded to tap the face of the witness and say his witness must be swift because it is telling that I don’t have any undies on.
*Points at genitals* You gonna eat that?
That dog is fucking adorable, so obviously.
Then I got to witness him successfully use the exact same line on another chick three days later.
I’m assuming he’s found that dog to be a fine investment.
Dogs are fine fucking investments.
I actually asked out my current gf using a shitty pickup line.
“Hey, do you have any raisins?”
That’s truly awful.
asked a man i had been watching what he was up to, he said “laying in my bed, you should attempt it some time.”
we live together now.
Money in the bank.
Was over at a friend’s house watching Harry Potter and somehow we got to a point in the conversation where I said “I truly, truly loved Popsicles as a kid.”
Which leads to the slick pick up line of “We can pretend my schlong is a ice-cream”, and then he just pulled down his pants right in the middle of his parents living room…didn’t know what to do so I just went with it.
Ended up dating for awhile
Can you top any of these? Share in the comments. To read more of this fantastic thread, click HERE. .