The High Cost of Long-Distance Relationships
When determining whether to have a long-distance relationship, the decision is often fraught with "what ifs." What if we fight to communicate? What if we can’t see each other more than once a month? What if it doesn’t work out?
Believe me, I’ve been there.
The one thing I didn’t consider — and perhaps one of the more significant what ifs — was how much it actually costs to stay in a long-distance relationship.
My beau and I have been long-distance for almost a year and a half at this point — he lives in Washington DC, as he finishes getting his degree, while I live in Brooklyn and work in Manhattan. Our decision to go long-distance was effortless. We had already been together for four years and had survived a brief long-distance stint when he studied abroad in Chile.
After a year and a half, as our time as a long-distance duo is ending (we’re eventually moving in together at the end of the month!), I can honestly say that I’m astonished at how much the relationship cost. Perhaps our largest expense was frequent bus trips inbetween Fresh York and DC. My beau and I witnessed each other twice a month, usually taking turns to do the long rail. Planning trips months in advance yielded those uncommon $1 Megabus trips, which was helpful. But even those weren’t as cheap as expected: the company charges a $Five fee for an order, so a $1 round-trip ticket completes up costing toughly $12. If we left behind to plan ahead, however, a bus journey could cost $30 one way on average, or harshly $70 overall.
Travel costs became even higher thanks to the dubious public transit systems. The DC metro is notoriously bad, and my beau didn’t live within walking distance of the station. When my bus got in late (a frequent occurrence), the metros in DC were no longer running. I usually paid extra to book a Lyft to get to his apartment, which ended up costing around $12 per journey.
It’s also significant to factor in the cost of food for travel. At very first, I’d pick up a $Ten Sweetgreen salad to make my tour a little lighter. Inevitably bored and maybe a little greedy at the rest stop, I would also purchase a joy drink or some candy to tide me over for the rest of the rail. Soon, however, I learned that packing a dinner and some snacks was a much more wallet-friendly option.
Once I arrived, I would lodge in and realize I left behind something. I’m typically a bit of an overpacker and a product hoarder. Still, I managed to leave behind things like my brush, color-safe shampoo and conditioner, or extra underwear. Yikes. Of course, with some of these things (e.g. shampoo), I could just use my beau’s version. But he has brief hair, so he doesn’t own a brush, and off to the local Target we’d go. Ten dollars later — sometimes more — my convenience was ensured.
While staying at each other’s places, my bf and I often fell into spending traps. We’d attempt to fit weeks of dates into two days, so spending extra at bars or dinners was not unheard of. We’re both typically budget-conscious, but in an effort to make our time together feel special, we threw spending rules out the window when we eyed each other.
One example in particular makes me cringe in retrospect. One Friday when my bf visited, we went to a bar near my office in the Financial District in Manhattan and ordered one of our dive bar favorites: picklebacks. The tab for just the shots of Jameson and pickle juice clocked in at $28 before peak. I forked over the cash (we switch off paying for drinks and it was my turn) but regretted that shot for days. As time went on, we found more budget-friendly date catches sight of (Alligator Lounge, anyone?), but the initial drain on both of our bank accounts was painful.
Similarly, the costs of prepping for a visit begin to climb on up. Little touches, like making sure to have his dearest beer on arm (or on his end, my dearest wine), as well as making nice dinners can add up. And sometimes I’d spend extra on beauty treatments like waxes, which can net $50 (peak included) in Fresh York. Of course, these weren’t necessary. But we both felt this pressure to be our best selves when we were visiting because it was sometimes the only chance we had to see each other for the month. I desired to feel my best, so sometimes I paid more for a manicure or a fresh clothing.
In retrospect, I could have spent less on my long-distance relationship. I didn’t realize until late in the game how to time purchases of Megabus tickets (observe for emails from the company, buy them right after). I could have been a more organized packer and stuck to my budget by packing dinners or forgoing beauty treatments. My savings account certainly would have benefited from this — during my very first year and a half in Fresh York, I haven’t been able to save almost as much as I had hoped. This is in part thanks to my spending habits when it came to my relationship.
The thing is, however, I wouldn’t give up the practice, even if it meant I’d have some extra cash in savings. What I would switch is thinking about how I would pay to keep the relationship up, even from afar.
The High Cost of Long-Distance Relationships, POPSUGAR Career and Finance
The High Cost of Long-Distance Relationships
When determining whether to have a long-distance relationship, the decision is often fraught with "what ifs." What if we fight to communicate? What if we can’t see each other more than once a month? What if it doesn’t work out?
Believe me, I’ve been there.
The one thing I didn’t consider — and perhaps one of the more significant what ifs — was how much it actually costs to stay in a long-distance relationship.
My bf and I have been long-distance for almost a year and a half at this point — he lives in Washington DC, as he finishes getting his degree, while I live in Brooklyn and work in Manhattan. Our decision to go long-distance was effortless. We had already been together for four years and had survived a brief long-distance stint when he studied abroad in Chile.
After a year and a half, as our time as a long-distance duo is ending (we’re ultimately moving in together at the end of the month!), I can honestly say that I’m astonished at how much the relationship cost. Perhaps our largest expense was frequent bus trips inbetween Fresh York and DC. My bf and I witnessed each other twice a month, usually taking turns to do the long rail. Planning trips months in advance yielded those infrequent $1 Megabus trips, which was helpful. But even those weren’t as cheap as expected: the company charges a $Five fee for an order, so a $1 round-trip ticket finishes up costing harshly $12. If we left behind to plan ahead, tho’, a bus excursion could cost $30 one way on average, or harshly $70 overall.
Travel costs became even higher thanks to the dubious public transit systems. The DC metro is notoriously bad, and my bf didn’t live within walking distance of the station. When my bus got in late (a frequent occurrence), the metros in DC were no longer running. I usually paid extra to book a Lyft to get to his apartment, which ended up costing around $12 per excursion.
It’s also significant to factor in the cost of food for travel. At very first, I’d pick up a $Ten Sweetgreen salad to make my excursion a little lighter. Inevitably bored and maybe a little greedy at the rest stop, I would also purchase a joy drink or some candy to tide me over for the rest of the rail. Soon, tho’, I learned that packing a dinner and some snacks was a much more wallet-friendly option.
Once I arrived, I would lodge in and realize I left behind something. I’m typically a bit of an overpacker and a product hoarder. Still, I managed to leave behind things like my brush, color-safe shampoo and conditioner, or extra underwear. Yikes. Of course, with some of these things (e.g. shampoo), I could just use my beau’s version. But he has brief hair, so he doesn’t own a brush, and off to the local Target we’d go. Ten dollars later — sometimes more — my convenience was ensured.
While staying at each other’s places, my beau and I often fell into spending traps. We’d attempt to fit weeks of dates into two days, so spending extra at bars or dinners was not unheard of. We’re both typically budget-conscious, but in an effort to make our time together feel special, we threw spending rules out the window when we eyed each other.
One example in particular makes me cringe in retrospect. One Friday when my beau visited, we went to a bar near my office in the Financial District in Manhattan and ordered one of our dive bar favorites: picklebacks. The tab for just the shots of Jameson and pickle juice clocked in at $28 before peak. I forked over the cash (we switch off paying for drinks and it was my turn) but regretted that shot for days. As time went on, we found more budget-friendly date catches sight of (Alligator Lounge, anyone?), but the initial drain on both of our bank accounts was painful.
Similarly, the costs of prepping for a visit begin to climb on up. Little touches, like making sure to have his beloved beer on forearm (or on his end, my beloved wine), as well as making nice dinners can add up. And sometimes I’d spend extra on beauty treatments like waxes, which can net $50 (peak included) in Fresh York. Of course, these weren’t necessary. But we both felt this pressure to be our best selves when we were visiting because it was sometimes the only chance we had to see each other for the month. I desired to feel my best, so sometimes I paid more for a manicure or a fresh garment.
In retrospect, I could have spent less on my long-distance relationship. I didn’t realize until late in the game how to time purchases of Megabus tickets (witness for emails from the company, buy them right after). I could have been a more organized packer and stuck to my budget by packing dinners or forgoing beauty treatments. My savings account certainly would have benefited from this — during my very first year and a half in Fresh York, I haven’t been able to save almost as much as I had hoped. This is in part thanks to my spending habits when it came to my relationship.
The thing is, tho’, I wouldn’t give up the practice, even if it meant I’d have some extra cash in savings. What I would switch is thinking about how I would pay to keep the relationship up, even from afar.