Lonely and Horny? Married But Open? Seeking Studs or Women? Something In-Between? There’s an App for That!
Looking for Love and Hook-up Online is Old News
For the better part of the past two decades online bulletin boards like Craigslist, dating websites such as eHarmony and Match.com, and endless pay-for-play sexual hookup websites have provided the single, lonely, horny, cheating, or simply bored man or woman with the fastest and most direct route to meet, date, romance, and/or simply have hook-up.
Finding Lovemaking Swifter Than a Table for Two.
As modern life has shifted away from the home or office-based computers and become all about the smartphone, we now have apps that permit us to literally "hook-up" on the go. Smartphone "friend finder" apps like Ashley Madison (for marrieds and partnered individuals seeking "out of the roost" lovemaking), Skout and Blendr (for single straight guys and women), Grindr (to find male-male fucking partners) or Pink Cupid (to find lesbians and bisexual fucking partners) — among many others — are actually friend finders in name only. More accurately, these more accurately named, "sex-finder" apps are designed to help you geo-locate an instantaneously available, readily accessible romantic or sexual playmate much in the same way that Yelp or Citysearch will direct you to a nearby four starlet sushi bar or Italian deli with a good smartphone and the flick of your index finger.
Given the fact that almost half of all U.S. households now own at least one smartphone, it seems reasonable to assume that enhancing numbers of people are impatiently following this app-created breadcrumb trail to lovemaking with strangers wherever and whenever time and circumstances permit.
Once downloaded and opened, hook-up finder apps bring up an instant photo grid of potentially available hookup fucking partners, presorted by location, gender, age and/or sexual preference — all on your smartphone screen. In crowded urban areas these apps often locate numerous people within a mere few hundred feet!
And just like that, the days of being rejected when out clubbing or attempting to pick someone up at a party are a thing of the past. With hookup apps there’s no muss, no fuss, just the act itself and a handshake on the way out, thank you very much.
Megan, a single medical student in her mid-20s, talks about her hookup app practice:
When out at a club a few months ago I determined to give one of these apps a attempt and turned on Blendr. I swear, in less than two minutes this man I’d never met or seen — David — embarked texting me. It turned out that he was suspending out with friends at a bar across the street. Feeling safe, with my friends all around, I texted back, asking him to come over and I’d buy him a drink. In less than five minutes, there he was, arms crossed, big smile on his face, right in front of me. It turns out he’s a truly sweet, straight, single, professional ballet dancer. Now how sexy is that? And the excellent part for both of us is he isn’t looking for a relationship, and neither am I, at least not for the foreseeable future. My school and training schedule is just too crazy for that. But David and I did meet up that night, and fairly a few times since, totally without strings, but also having a lot of joy.
Thanks to smartphone apps, seeking and finding rapid hot casual hookup has become, much like real estate, all about location. The more sizable and interesting the nearby crowd, the better your shot at finding fucking partners. As such, any jam-packed venue is now a prime cruising spot for app-aware people looking to get laid. This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar (however not everyone is single). It’s just so effortless — just turn on your app. And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too timid to make the very first stir — no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won’t be long before someone finds you.
The Dangers of Convenient Hookup
Unluckily, much like a casino app in the forearms of a compulsive gambler, those fighting with sexual addiction and similar sexual problems see lovemaking finder apps as the equivalent of crack cocaine. And, as with all addictions, whether to substances or behaviors, the consequences to the active abuser can be profound.
Rico, a 32-year-old gay fellow, had this to say about his practice:
Just after a friend introduced me to Grindr, by the end of the very first week, without providing it much thought, I’d had three previously unknown hookup fucking partners over to my place. In a heartbeat Grindr became my #1 distraction from stress, tedium, and loneliness, but it also quickly substituted dating and most of my social life. Bored at work? Grindr. Sitting at a slow ballgame? Grindr. Out of town and in a lonely hotel room? Grindr. A weekend without plans? Grindr. And so it went. When out to dinner with friends I would set my phone to silent so it would merely stimulate in my pocket when someone was looking to connect with me. Before long using the app began to take over whatever free time I had. I found myself leaving the app on all the time and big surprise, my life quickly became all about the search for lovemaking. Within three months I ended up getting fired for sneaking out of work to meet up. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone. They did the right thing, I get that. But I still haven’t been able to put the thing away and stay away.
Rico’s story aside, lovemaking finder apps have for most healthy people generated a reliable fresh source of casual romantic and sexual encounters, suggesting a readily available, mostly free source of brief sexual encounters and connection.
Are these apps right for you?
One significant recommendation for anyone choosing to inject the "friend finder" world is to make sure they have genuine clarity about what it is they want.
If you’re faithful to finding a spouse or long-term fucking partner, a traditional dating website is most likely a much better option than Blendr.
If you are in a primary relationship and looking to cheat — apps likely are your fastest route to hook-up and potential relationship problems. But do reminisce to ‘play safe’, especially if you’re planning to keep this secret from a spouse.
If your primary interest is casual hookup, hookup locator smartphone apps will likely fit the bill.
Regardless of your situation or purpose, reminisce that when using these apps, as do all technologies that involve intensely pleasurable activities, caution should be exercised, particularly by anyone who has a history of losing themselves in escalating, obsessive quests for sexual power.