Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

You might be in a long-distance relationship because of a high school graduation, a connection you made with someone over the internet, or any number of reasons. Long-distance relationships have a bad rap for being notoriously difficult and complicated, requiring even more commitment from both playmates than usual. Sure, everyone knows they aren’t effortless, but how do you know if your long-distance relationship is healthy or not? Are they all fated?

Gratefully, the reaction is NO, not all long-distance relationships fail! But it can be tricky figuring out if yours is healthy. Here are some warning signs of an unhealthy long-distance relationship:

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your fucking partner is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requiring that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their fucking partner. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be disciplined or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or draping out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Contraptions such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a fine way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these implements can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your fucking partner asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV showcase at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hookup acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, fucking partners don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your figure. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you eventually get to string up out with your fucking partner! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are compelled to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to unwind or string up out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice investigate time, family time, or other significant things to please your fucking partner.

Excuses

When a playmate commences to use distance as an excuse for hurtful behavior, this is a warning sign that the distance isn’t a problem, the behavior is. Being abusive is a choice, and no one is worth to practice manhandle. Excuses like, “It’s just because we’re far apart,” or “It won’t be like this when we’re in the same place,” do not justify controlling behaviors or invasion of privacy.

If you recognize any of these issues, you might need a relationship check-up. Most importantly, if it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. If you feel suffocated by clingy behavior or find yourself getting permanently jealous, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. You can always talk, text or call us if you have questions!

Share this entry

HY I MET A Stud twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Embarked A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Dreamed TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Commence A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Begin ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Willingly ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Budge ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Thank you for reaching out. It can be confusing to know how to navigate the beginning of a relationship. There isn’t a way to know what he is thinking or the motivation behind his behavior unless he shares that information. For a relationship to be healthy there needs to be open and fair communication. Possibly talking to him about what he is wanting and how he wants to communicate. I want to let you know about some other pages on our site that maybe helpful

Hi i met a woman on kik eight months ago and we you know had skype and we texted eachother every once in awhile and last tuesday her mom called me and told me to give her space and so i did, then that saturday she texted me and told me to leave her daughter alone ,her daughter was put in a institution for depression and the doctor told her that our relationahip was healthy her mom blocked me on i stagram and skype and blocked my number, whats the best way to display her mom that i love her daughter??

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very stressfull and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to budge forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things stay around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it truly quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even tho’ i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

today i feel more stressed without logical explanation and i fear that in tonights conversation i will attempt to hide it because i find it unfair to press our realationship without any logical evidence to talk about mu todays unstability …

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

It sounds like you are going through so much right now, so I am blessed that you reached out for help. It seems like a lot of the anxiety that you are experiencing is happening because there was a switch that you could not control. Your relationship unexpectedly turned into a long distance relationship, and this was indeed hard on both of you.

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your fucking partner or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and embark writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

It could also maybe be helpful to dangle out with friends or others who can help support you? Talking to your playmate permanently, or only talking to them can be unhealthy in some cases. However, it is always healthy for you AND her to have other fulfilling friendships with people outside of the relationship. So maybe it could be helpful to build stronger friend relationships to help pack that gap you are feeling?

If you wished to talk more about this situation and get more ideas for how you could treat long-distance, we undoubtedly encourage you to contact us directly. We are always here 24/7 through phone at 1-866-331-9474 or by talk at loveisrespect.org Thanks for being plucky enough to reach out!

My name is Clair. I’m going to embark off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by hopping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I began noticing signs of controlling behavior but commenced telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was liking his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your playmate, which is a truly superb step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is truly problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your playmate is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a truly harsh question, and it is entirely reasonable to take the time you need to find the right response for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantly getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship truly concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your fucking partner supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

If you would like to talk through your situation, I encourage you to reach out to us anytime. Our advocates are here 24/7 by phone (1.866.331.9474), online talk and text (text: loveis to 22522) to suggest a safe space to talk.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to string up out with my cousins and my friends she gets indeed pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a dame messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

You might be in a long-distance relationship because of a high school graduation, a connection you made with someone over the internet, or any number of reasons. Long-distance relationships have a bad rap for being notoriously difficult and complicated, requiring even more commitment from both fucking partners than usual. Sure, everyone knows they aren’t effortless, but how do you know if your long-distance relationship is healthy or not? Are they all fated?

Gratefully, the response is NO, not all long-distance relationships fail! But it can be tricky figuring out if yours is healthy. Here are some warning signs of an unhealthy long-distance relationship:

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your playmate is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requiring that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their playmate. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be penalized or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or suspending out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Implements such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a good way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these contraptions can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your playmate asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV demonstrate at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hook-up acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, fucking partners don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not comfy with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your bod. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you eventually get to suspend out with your playmate! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are compelled to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your playmate. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to loosen or drape out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your fucking partner feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice investigate time, family time, or other significant things to please your fucking partner.

Excuses

When a playmate embarks to use distance as an excuse for hurtful behavior, this is a warning sign that the distance isn’t a problem, the behavior is. Being abusive is a choice, and no one is worth to practice manhandle. Excuses like, “It’s just because we’re far apart,” or “It won’t be like this when we’re in the same place,” do not justify controlling behaviors or invasion of privacy.

Share this entry

HY I MET A Dude twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Commenced A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Commence A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Begin ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Willingly ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Stir ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Hi i met a damsel on kik eight months ago and we you know had skype and we texted eachother every once in awhile and last tuesday her mom called me and told me to give her space and so i did, then that saturday she texted me and told me to leave her daughter alone ,her daughter was put in a institution for depression and the doctor told her that our relationahip was healthy her mom blocked me on i stagram and skype and blocked my number, whats the best way to display her mom that i love her daughter??

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very tense and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to stir forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to comeback.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things stay around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it truly quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

It sounds like you are going through so much right now, so I am glad that you reached out for help. It seems like a lot of the anxiety that you are experiencing is happening because there was a switch that you could not control. Your relationship unexpectedly turned into a long distance relationship, and this was indeed hard on both of you.

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your playmate or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and begin writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

It could also maybe be helpful to suspend out with friends or others who can help support you? Talking to your fucking partner permanently, or only talking to them can be unhealthy in some cases. However, it is always healthy for you AND her to have other fulfilling friendships with people outside of the relationship. So maybe it could be helpful to build stronger friend relationships to help pack that gap you are feeling?

My name is Clair. I’m going to embark off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was eventually able to end the two year relationship by leaping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I commenced noticing signs of controlling behavior but began telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a truly superb step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is truly problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your playmate is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a truly harsh question, and it is downright reasonable to take the time you need to find the right response for you.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to dangle out with my cousins and my friends she gets indeed pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a female messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

You might be in a long-distance relationship because of a high school graduation, a connection you made with someone over the internet, or any number of reasons. Long-distance relationships have a bad rap for being notoriously difficult and complicated, requiring even more commitment from both fucking partners than usual. Sure, everyone knows they aren’t effortless, but how do you know if your long-distance relationship is healthy or not? Are they all fated?

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your playmate is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requesting that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their fucking partner. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be penalized or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or dangling out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Contraptions such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a good way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these instruments can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your fucking partner asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV display at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed lovemaking acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, playmates don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your figure. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you ultimately get to dangle out with your playmate! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are coerced to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to ease off or dangle out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your fucking partner feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice examine time, family time, or other significant things to please your playmate.

Excuses

When a fucking partner starts to use distance as an excuse for hurtful behavior, this is a warning sign that the distance isn’t a problem, the behavior is. Being abusive is a choice, and no one is worth to practice manhandle. Excuses like, “It’s just because we’re far apart,” or “It won’t be like this when we’re in the same place,” do not justify controlling behaviors or invasion of privacy.

Share this entry

HY I MET A Fellow twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Embarked A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Begin A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Embark ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Graciously ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Stir ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Hi i met a chick on kik eight months ago and we you know had skype and we texted eachother every once in awhile and last tuesday her mom called me and told me to give her space and so i did, then that saturday she texted me and told me to leave her daughter alone ,her daughter was put in a institution for depression and the doctor told her that our relationahip was healthy her mom blocked me on i stagram and skype and blocked my number, whats the best way to demonstrate her mom that i love her daughter??

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very strained and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to budge forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to comeback.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things stay around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it truly quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

It could also maybe be helpful to string up out with friends or others who can help support you? Talking to your fucking partner permanently, or only talking to them can be unhealthy in some cases. However, it is always healthy for you AND her to have other fulfilling friendships with people outside of the relationship. So maybe it could be helpful to build stronger friend relationships to help pack that gap you are feeling?

If you desired to talk more about this situation and get more ideas for how you could treat long-distance, we certainly encourage you to contact us directly. We are always here 24/7 through phone at 1-866-331-9474 or by talk at loveisrespect.org Thanks for being plucky enough to reach out!

My name is Clair. I’m going to begin off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was eventually able to end the two year relationship by hopping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I embarked noticing signs of controlling behavior but began telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a indeed excellent step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is indeed problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your fucking partner is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a truly harsh question, and it is fully reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantaneously getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship indeed concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your fucking partner supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to drape out with my cousins and my friends she gets truly pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a chick messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

You might be in a long-distance relationship because of a high school graduation, a connection you made with someone over the internet, or any number of reasons. Long-distance relationships have a bad rap for being notoriously difficult and complicated, requiring even more commitment from both fucking partners than usual. Sure, everyone knows they aren’t effortless, but how do you know if your long-distance relationship is healthy or not? Are they all fated?

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your fucking partner is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requesting that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their playmate. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be disciplined or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or draping out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Contraptions such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a excellent way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these implements can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your fucking partner asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV demonstrate at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hookup acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, playmates don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your bod. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you ultimately get to suspend out with your fucking partner! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are coerced to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to unwind or string up out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel convenient with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice examine time, family time, or other significant things to please your fucking partner.

Excuses

When a fucking partner commences to use distance as an excuse for hurtful behavior, this is a warning sign that the distance isn’t a problem, the behavior is. Being abusive is a choice, and no one is worth to practice manhandle. Excuses like, “It’s just because we’re far apart,” or “It won’t be like this when we’re in the same place,” do not justify controlling behaviors or invasion of privacy.

Share this entry

HY I MET A Stud twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Commenced A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Embark A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Embark ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Graciously ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Stir ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Hi i met a lady on kik eight months ago and we you know had skype and we texted eachother every once in awhile and last tuesday her mom called me and told me to give her space and so i did, then that saturday she texted me and told me to leave her daughter alone ,her daughter was put in a institution for depression and the doctor told her that our relationahip was healthy her mom blocked me on i stagram and skype and blocked my number, whats the best way to display her mom that i love her daughter??

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things remain around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it truly quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even tho’ i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your playmate or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and embark writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

It could also maybe be helpful to drape out with friends or others who can help support you? Talking to your playmate permanently, or only talking to them can be unhealthy in some cases. However, it is always healthy for you AND her to have other fulfilling friendships with people outside of the relationship. So maybe it could be helpful to build stronger friend relationships to help pack that gap you are feeling?

My name is Clair. I’m going to commence off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by hopping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I began noticing signs of controlling behavior but embarked telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a indeed excellent step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is truly problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your fucking partner is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a indeed harsh question, and it is fully reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantly getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship indeed concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your playmate supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to dangle out with my cousins and my friends she gets truly pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a chick messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your playmate respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your playmate is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requiring that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their playmate. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be disciplined or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or suspending out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Contraptions such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a superb way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these instruments can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your fucking partner asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV showcase at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed lovemaking acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, fucking partners don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not comfy with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your bod. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you eventually get to drape out with your playmate! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are coerced to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your playmate. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to loosen or suspend out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice probe time, family time, or other significant things to please your fucking partner.

Excuses

Share this entry

HY I MET A Stud twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Began A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Embark A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Begin ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Gladly ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Stir ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Hi i met a doll on kik eight months ago and we you know had skype and we texted eachother every once in awhile and last tuesday her mom called me and told me to give her space and so i did, then that saturday she texted me and told me to leave her daughter alone ,her daughter was put in a institution for depression and the doctor told her that our relationahip was healthy her mom blocked me on i stagram and skype and blocked my number, whats the best way to display her mom that i love her daughter??

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things remain around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it truly quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

If you dreamed to talk more about this situation and get more ideas for how you could treat long-distance, we undoubtedly encourage you to contact us directly. We are always here 24/7 through phone at 1-866-331-9474 or by talk at loveisrespect.org Thanks for being courageous enough to reach out!

My name is Clair. I’m going to commence off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by leaping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I began noticing signs of controlling behavior but embarked telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a indeed excellent step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is truly problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your playmate is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a truly rough question, and it is entirely reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantly getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship indeed concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your playmate supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to drape out with my cousins and my friends she gets truly pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a lady messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Devices such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a superb way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these implements can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your playmate asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV demonstrate at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hook-up acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, fucking partners don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not comfy with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your figure. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you ultimately get to drape out with your playmate! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are compelled to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to unwind or string up out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice probe time, family time, or other significant things to please your playmate.

Excuses

When a fucking partner embarks to use distance as an excuse for hurtful behavior, this is a warning sign that the distance isn’t a problem, the behavior is. Being abusive is a choice, and no one is worth to practice manhandle. Excuses like, “It’s just because we’re far apart,” or “It won’t be like this when we’re in the same place,” do not justify controlling behaviors or invasion of privacy.

Share this entry

HY I MET A Stud twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Embarked A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Wished TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Begin A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Embark ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Graciously ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Budge ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things stay around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it indeed quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your playmate or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and commence writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

My name is Clair. I’m going to commence off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by hopping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I embarked noticing signs of controlling behavior but commenced telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your playmate, which is a indeed fine step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is indeed problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your playmate is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a indeed rough question, and it is totally reasonable to take the time you need to find the right response for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantaneously getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship truly concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your playmate supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to dangle out with my cousins and my friends she gets truly pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a female messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

You might be in a long-distance relationship because of a high school graduation, a connection you made with someone over the internet, or any number of reasons. Long-distance relationships have a bad rap for being notoriously difficult and complicated, requiring even more commitment from both fucking partners than usual. Sure, everyone knows they aren’t effortless, but how do you know if your long-distance relationship is healthy or not? Are they all fated?

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your playmate respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your fucking partner is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requesting that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their fucking partner. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be penalized or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or draping out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Instruments such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a excellent way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these instruments can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your playmate asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV display at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hookup acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, fucking partners don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your bod. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you ultimately get to dangle out with your fucking partner! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are compelled to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to ease off or dangle out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice probe time, family time, or other significant things to please your fucking partner.

Excuses

Share this entry

HY I MET A Dude twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Commenced A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Commence A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Commence ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Willingly ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Budge ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very stressfull and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to stir forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things remain around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it indeed quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your playmate or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and commence writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

My name is Clair. I’m going to begin off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by leaping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I commenced noticing signs of controlling behavior but began telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a indeed superb step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is indeed problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, however, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your playmate is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a indeed rough question, and it is totally reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to dangle out with my cousins and my friends she gets indeed pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a damsel messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your fucking partner is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requesting that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their playmate. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be disciplined or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or draping out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Contraptions such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a excellent way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these contraptions can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your playmate asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV showcase at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed lovemaking acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, playmates don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your bod. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you eventually get to dangle out with your playmate! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are compelled to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your playmate. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to ease off or drape out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your fucking partner feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice examine time, family time, or other significant things to please your playmate.

Excuses

Share this entry

HY I MET A Man twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Began A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Commence A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Embark ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Graciously ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Budge ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Hi i met a female on kik eight months ago and we you know had skype and we texted eachother every once in awhile and last tuesday her mom called me and told me to give her space and so i did, then that saturday she texted me and told me to leave her daughter alone ,her daughter was put in a institution for depression and the doctor told her that our relationahip was healthy her mom blocked me on i stagram and skype and blocked my number, whats the best way to showcase her mom that i love her daughter??

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very tense and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to budge forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things stay around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it indeed quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

It could also maybe be helpful to suspend out with friends or others who can help support you? Talking to your playmate permanently, or only talking to them can be unhealthy in some cases. However, it is always healthy for you AND her to have other fulfilling friendships with people outside of the relationship. So maybe it could be helpful to build stronger friend relationships to help pack that gap you are feeling?

My name is Clair. I’m going to begin off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by leaping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I commenced noticing signs of controlling behavior but began telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was liking his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your playmate, which is a indeed good step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is indeed problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, tho’, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your fucking partner is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a truly rough question, and it is downright reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantly getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship indeed concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your playmate supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to string up out with my cousins and my friends she gets truly pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a female messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

You might be in a long-distance relationship because of a high school graduation, a connection you made with someone over the internet, or any number of reasons. Long-distance relationships have a bad rap for being notoriously difficult and complicated, requiring even more commitment from both fucking partners than usual. Sure, everyone knows they aren’t effortless, but how do you know if your long-distance relationship is healthy or not? Are they all fated?

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your playmate is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requiring that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their playmate. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be disciplined or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or draping out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Contraptions such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a fine way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these instruments can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your fucking partner asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV display at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your playmate to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hook-up acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, fucking partners don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your assets. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you ultimately get to suspend out with your fucking partner! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are coerced to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to ease off or drape out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice investigate time, family time, or other significant things to please your fucking partner.

Excuses

Share this entry

HY I MET A Fellow twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Began A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Dreamed TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Embark A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Begin ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Gladly ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Stir ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very strained and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to stir forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to comeback.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things remain around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it indeed quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even however i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your fucking partner or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and commence writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

It could also maybe be helpful to string up out with friends or others who can help support you? Talking to your playmate permanently, or only talking to them can be unhealthy in some cases. However, it is always healthy for you AND her to have other fulfilling friendships with people outside of the relationship. So maybe it could be helpful to build stronger friend relationships to help pack that gap you are feeling?

My name is Clair. I’m going to begin off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was eventually able to end the two year relationship by hopping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I commenced noticing signs of controlling behavior but embarked telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was loving his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a indeed superb step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is truly problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, tho’, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your playmate is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a indeed rough question, and it is fully reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantaneously getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship indeed concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your playmate supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to string up out with my cousins and my friends she gets indeed pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a doll messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

This post was written by Gabriella, a loveisrespect intern.

Texting frequently

Everyone feels differently about how much communication is too much, so it’s significant that both you and your fucking partner respect each other’s boundaries around texting. A crimson flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your playmate is messaging you permanently, asking where you are or requiring that you send pictures of people that you’re with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just checking in on you.” Healthy relationships are based on trust, and everyone is worth freedom in their relationship without fear of angering their playmate. It’s okay to make spontaneous plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be disciplined or guilt tripped for taking a while to react or stringing up out with other people.

Digital monitoring

Lots of couples use digital methods of communication in their long-distance relationships to feel closer to each other. Instruments such as Skype or social media apps like FaceTime can be a superb way to catch up with each other’s day! The problem we hear at loveisrespect is that these contraptions can sometimes lead to intense digital monitoring. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but these feelings need to be treated in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your playmate asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, leaving Skype on so they can see you do your homework or check that you’re watching a TV showcase at the same time, or even getting upset if you don’t leave your movie talk on while you sleep.

Sexual coercion

If you feel pressure from your fucking partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed hook-up acts during talk hangouts, this is also a crimson flag for manhandle. In healthy relationships, playmates don’t pressure the other to do something that they’re not convenient with; you always have the right to protect both your privacy and your bod. If you feel that a line is being crossed, listen to your gut. Digital manhandle is never okay.

Over-scheduled visits

Nothing is better in a long-distance relationship than when you eventually get to drape out with your fucking partner! So why is it that you aren’t thrilled to give up another weekend? A tightly managed visiting schedule in a long-distance relationship can be tightening, especially if you are compelled to give up ALL your weekends or free time to see your fucking partner. You can get burned out when you aren’t permitted to loosen or string up out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but money for travel expenses as well! It’s significant that both you and your playmate feel comfy with how much time you’re spending together and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice explore time, family time, or other significant things to please your playmate.

Excuses

Share this entry

HY I MET A Fellow twenty two DAYS AGO ONLINE.HE LIVES IN UK AND AM IN AFRICA .WE HAD A Talk FOR ABOUT five DAYS ONLINE AND WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AFTER THAT WE Embarked A Talk ON WHATSAPP. ON THE 6TH DAY WE HAD A LONG Talk ON WHATSAPP VIA TEXT COS WE Desired TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE.THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A Movie Talk I INITIATED THAT .SINCE THAT Movie Talk HE SENDS ME TEXTS VIA WHATSAPP GOODMORNING HOW ARE U? AND GOODNYT. NOTHING ELSE UNLESS I INITATE A CONVERSATION WHICH HE RESPONDS TO. IF I DONT Embark A CONVERSATION HE WOULDNT Commence ONE ALL HE SENDS IS GOODMORNING AND SOMETYMES GOODNYT. . I LOVE TO HAVE VOICE CALL CONVERSATIONS. I CALLED HIM ONCE HE PICKED UP ALRYT BUT HE WAS AT WORK AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL BACK HE NEVER DID BUT HE SEND ME A GOODMORNING MESSAGE ON WASAPP THE NEXT DAY I HAVE DEVELOPED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM(LOVE) BUT AS TO WHETHER HE FEELS THE SAME WAY OR WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME I CANT TELL PLEASE Willingly ADVICE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP HIM OR PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ITS A WASTE OF TYME SO I CAN Stir ON

THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON….

Thank you for reaching out. It can be very tense and confusing to have someone else step in and block the relationship. This is someone you care about and want to have in your life which can make her mom’s disapproval very frustrating. It also sounds like she is going through a lot right now and may need some space to concentrate on herself and healing from the depression. Talking with your gf about what she wants and what is a safe way to communicate can help. If you do not have a safe way to reach out to her, waiting for her to reach out to you is an option. We also have a page on when family disapproves of relationships here. If you would like to talk to an advocate about your situation and how to budge forward, we are here 24/7 on talk, text (text “loveis” to 22522), and at 1-866-331-9474.

I had a relation ship for two years before my gf went abroad .(iam greek and she is georgian)

i find it diffycult.!

both are very respective with our choise but….problems arise sometimes

i feel insecure so is she

i feel lonely nd i miss her smell and the feeling of her skin her voice and eye contact

we were lining together for two years and now she went to georgia but they cancelled her visa and we dont know when she is going to come back.

iam not pressing and nor she is //

fortunately she found a job there and i have mine here

we talk to the phone every day

and some nights at askype …

i know that i cant do more than waiting (with all my things around the day )to see her at our conversations (skype)

sometimes is too uncaficient and cold the touch via skype..

i attempt to be thoughtfull and so isi she but…

many things stay around insecurity with both of us ..

i feel like iam loosing her and even thogh i know its a mind game its stressfull

sometimes she feels like this

we get over it truly quick with talks but the jealusy isnt fading even tho’ i believe that she is faithfull and i am to her…

i know she will be understanding but…..

i have never done a ldr before and i was against it because i want the physical presence and believe in the equality of the presence in someones life…

now i attempt this because she means alot to me .but its too damn hard sometimes …

i attempt alot of things …..

and other hobbies as writing …

my brain is stcked …

can you please tell me what to do …or advise me somewhat?

However, even in a healthy relationship it is good to take time for individual needs and obligations instead of focusing solely on your playmate or their needs. It seems like from what you said, that you have been taking some steps to relieve your stress and self-care, that is so positive! Maybe you could take it even further and commence writing or journaling your thoughts? Not only can this help with self-awareness, but it can also release negativity.

If you desired to talk more about this situation and get more ideas for how you could treat long-distance, we undoubtedly encourage you to contact us directly. We are always here 24/7 through phone at 1-866-331-9474 or by talk at loveisrespect.org Thanks for being plucky enough to reach out!

My name is Clair. I’m going to embark off by telling I was in a controlling/abusive relationship the end of my sophomore year, junior, and senior year of high school. I was ultimately able to end the two year relationship by hopping into another one a month later. I spent the entire summer getting to know this boy and fell in love. I am presently in Missouri while he’s in Texas. We Have been five months together and everything seemed to be going fine. I commenced noticing signs of controlling behavior but embarked telling him I was not going to put up with that. You could tell he was frustrated that I was not following what he said. Last night he went on a party bus with some friends, clubbing and refused to text me the rest of the night. I went to sleep mad but didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I expected him to text me today but I didn’t receive a single text. Instead, he was putting up pictures on social media so I knew he was liking his time with his friends. I ended up texting him at the end of the day and he broke up with me. Said he didn’t like how I didn’t go after his rules. I told him not to give up on this relationship and He said he would talk to me on Monday. He warned me he was going to tell me off so for me to be ready. I have the choice of letting him go, or staying with him. What should I do? I’ve based all my life choices off of him, I’m transferring back home next semester so I could be with him. It’s all so frustrating.

This post has been modified to eliminate identifying information.

Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and opening up about your situation! It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, and you deserve support through this. It sounds like you attempted to discuss what your Boundaries are with your fucking partner, which is a truly excellent step, and it is not your fault that he is choosing to disregard that. A Healthy Relationship isn’t about rules, it is about trust, respect, and open communication. That means that when an issue comes up, working through that together in a supportive and respectful way. Rules are often a way for one person to create areas where negotiation isn’t an option. If you have no room for your own input, one person’s wellbeing will be prioritized over the other’s. That’s not okay at all. Telling something menacing like warning you to be ready because he is going to tell you off is indeed problematic, and these things create a clear difference in power in the relationship.

The choice about what to do moving forward is one that only you can make. Something that may be helpful to keep in mind, tho’, is that you never need a reason to end a relationship that is not working out for you. You deserve to have your wellbeing prioritized, and if you feel like that is not something that your fucking partner is willing to do, it may be the point to think through whether or not this relationship is the healthiest option for you right now. Asking If You Should End Your Relationship can be a truly rough question, and it is entirely reasonable to take the time you need to find the right reaction for you.

I would like to address a duo of the things you said – both your comment about instantly getting into a fresh relationship and that you are basing all of your life choices around your current relationship indeed concern me. Your life is your own, and while you can share practices with someone, another person should not dictate the course of your life. It seems like you may be sacrificing what you want to meet his expectations, and that’s not healthy for you. A healthy relationship is about your fucking partner supporting you on your own path and sharing practices, not feeling like you have to switch your path to suit someone else.

Hello everyone , I needed to speak out about this and get some advise on what to do , i have been in a LDR for four years now with my gf, she lives in Italy and I live in the USA . My gf gets mad about everything , if I say I’m going to string up out with my cousins and my friends she gets indeed pissed , she give me ultimatums all the time telling “it’s me or them ” .. She says it’s disrespectful to her that I go to party’s with out her . I’d like her to come with me to parties , but how can she if she’s across seas ?? .. My family sees this behavior and they all hate her , they litterly tell me to leave her and that my life will be a living hell if I stay with her . Godforbid a doll messages me on Facebook or tags me in a picture , I never hear the end of it from her . She is always interrogating me as if I was being questioned by the FBI … Everything always has to be her way , I attempted talking to her about it but when I mention she’s controlling she says “ok bye ” and I don’t hear from her for two days … She doesn’t ever switch and I thought it would be different if she comes here thinking it’s because of the distance . I recently got engaged to her and now I’m having 2nd thoughts . Please help me :/

This post has been modified to liquidate identifying information.

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like

Is Your Long-Distance Relationship Unhealthy?

Texting frequently

Digital monitoring

Sexual coercion

Over-scheduled visits

Excuses

Share this entry

You might also like